The Norwegian in Me

My grandma is 100% Norwegian, and being Norwegian has always been a part of my family. I have had fun in the last 45 days or so analyzing the culture in order to better explain myself. These are generalizations which are hard to prove as being Norwegian, but are noticeable differences I've only seen here. Whatever the case, I'm going to pretend this explains my quirks.

- They don't walk around smiling all over the place. They have this stoic, no-nonsense unemotional affect. No bogus fake smiles. And they stink at chit-chatting with strangers.

- They get a little or a lot of alcohol in them and then dance like maniacs. They're really aggressive and even the Germans are scared of them. I feel like I need a mouthguard on the dance floor as elbows and foreheads are flying. They'll partner dance and run right into you with full force. No one says "sorry" or "excuse me."

- They love chocolate. No messing around with that hard, bitter garbage called dark chocolate. Its smooth, sweet, and melts instantly on your fingers like butter. The other day, my patient at school told me (completely serious) that Nordic countries have to eat a lot of chocolate in order to stay warm. That's the best excuse I've ever heard - chocolate for physical survival.

- They're not that skinny. However, they're not obese either. No one gawks if you've got a little pudge.

- They love wearing skinny, black running tights in all possible situations. Shopping at the mall, getting some groceries, having dinner... the possibilities are really endless.

- They air dry their laundry on metal racks. (I've been doing this for years.)

- Girls lift free weights in the gym and not 2 and 4 kg weights. They're pumping like 10 kg plus weights. (1 kg = 2.2 lbs) They love squat lifting, too.

- They like modernism and uncluttered decor.

- Girls don't wear a lot of makeup. Enough to accentuate the points of focus, but not pageant style at all. Very natural.

- Seafood is a major part of their diet. *When I was 6 years-old, if you had asked me what my favorite food was, I would tell you crab.

- They eat liver paste regularly (AKA pate). Nummy!

- They use paprika spice on tons of things. (My grandma always has this on the table at meals. When I was little I would call it 'red salt.' Great on cottage cheese.)

- Structured child-rearing but not over-protectiveness. Parents let their 9 year-old son bike across town from soccer practice and their 3 year-old walk on railings over precarious cliffs, but they're strict with other things. For instance, kids are only allowed to have candy and pop on Saturdays. They call it Lordag Godt (Good Saturday). Kids also get a spoonful of cod liver oil every day. Bedtime is always 8 o'clock, except maybe 9:00 if mom and dad have company over. (I can only hope to be like this as a parent.)

- They love Yorkies! They're everywhere. I get really excited to run and pet them.

- They ride mopeds. Seems crazy considering how much it rains here, but they are great in a town with limited parking space and high gas prices.